There comes a time where you just have to be honest and put yourself out there. I’m growing another human. For those of you suggesting all types of medicine during my funky weeks of insane amounts of mucus, sinus pressure, and sea lion coughing thank you. There was a reason I couldn’t get all drugged up and that is because of this tiny little sesame-sized life inside my belly.
I have so much to look forward to in the upcoming months of the first trimester to which I dub the bitchiphase of pregnancy. Men you think pms is bad, bitchiphase is three months of everything you do gets on my frickin’ nerves and sobbing at touching commercials. If you have ever experienced a hangover, then you have the same feeling that one would feel during bitchiphase: sour stomach, nausea, and fatigue. My last pregnancy I had many food aversions. It was odd to me how I could think of spinach and my mouth would water anticipating the vomit. Vomiting never came, so I just had the nausea, which I cannot decide if it would be better to vomit and get it out of the way. Grocery shopping is challenging to say the least.
I will keep you fried followers updated on the progress. The good news is my last pregnancy was quite humorous to me even though I looked very much like a flesh-tone version of Shrek. I’m trying not to think that far ahead. Although I still have flashbacks of me being so swollen that my feet looked like I was baking bread over my flip flops and the memory of my friend Ashley exuberantly sticking her finger into my leg and clapping like a three-year-old all wide-eyed and oohing at the silly puttiness of the dent she has just created that would stay in my leg for 45 minutes.
However big I get, I’m so rockin’ the Buddha belly in a ‘kini this summer. I am not afraid. I will be the one floating around with the fruit tray.
Expected human eviction date: 09-09-09. How cool is that for a birthdate?