Did you know that in your 14th week the baby is the size of a lemon and then the baby becomes the size of an apple in your 15th week? Hmm, could this be where Gwyneth Paltrow conjured up her daughter’s name in a hormone induced moment? “Awe, my little baby, Apple.”
This brings me to another subject that just chaps my ass. Have you ever noticed that when a celebrity child is mentioned on the internet or in a magazine, the first AND middle name is printed? Why? Do you really think Britney is going to say, “Jayden James, bring mama her Marlboros.” I’m pretty sure she just calls him by his first name.
Officially, I have made it out of bitchymester, which is the first trimester of pregnancy. I do have my moments of low tolerance, but mostly I am feeling pretty good. Talking to one of my friends, they told me that is sounded like I just smoked a joint. This early phase of second trimester is tricky with the clothes. It is the “is she fat or pregnant” phase.
The other question people ask is “what are you having?” My favorite response is, “a baby.” I smile innocently when I say it and wait. I did this to a random customer in my former place of employment. He was a bit confused and I was extremely amused. I really wanted to walk away and leave him alone to figure out that I was just a sarcastic pregnant woman, but I thought better of it and laughed (at him).
To answer the question, my husband and I agreed to wait to find out the sex of our first baby and we’ll do the same with this one. Trust me it is extremely difficult to be mid sonogram and have the technician ask if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. “………. (long pause) ah……… (I could keep it a secret from EVERYONE)…………. no.” Scouring the inner depths of my brain to devise a question to ask her that would shed light on what the sex of the baby is without her knowing what my motive was. “Do you advise pee pee teepees?” (No, I did not make that up and yes, that is what they are called. Google it.)