First week in the corn

So if you haven’t heard, we moved from Evans, Georgia to EvansVILLE, Indiana. Golf husband took a job with a new company that just bought the 35th best private golf club in the United States… and they decided his skills would be useful here in Indiana.

I know I never followed up on the BHI part 2 post. For the most part the rest of the trip was fine. I got a little tipsy one day, lost my earrings and sunglasses in the ocean while I was flopping around in the waves like a mermaid, then went out to see a live band of 2 people and I got everyone dancing and couldn’t understand why the girlie singer and the guitar playing-dude wouldn’t let me sing back-up. I never had a hangover, but my brother-in-law and golf husband went to play golf (imagine that). They had to stop short because BIL wasn’t feeling well. Turns out he forgot his medication and was severely dehydrated and that was the cause of this violent vomiting episode that freaked us out so badly we had the paramedics come to house. I know what you’re thinking… this is just your normal family beach trip.

Okay, so here are a few photos:

We all got dressed “beachy” and found a random person to take our picture in front of Old Baldy. It was like herding a group of retarded spider monkeys.

This is the house I stalked. I’m obsessed with this house. It honestly makes my hair tingle and my palms clammy. The four chocolate labs that were snoozing on the front porch only made my fantasy that much better. There was beach on the other side of the house too with a gigantic cantilevered covered porch. *sigh*

 This is me whipping up a fury of booty shaking. So, I could only get the little ones to dance.

Okay. So back to Indiana…

We are living in a loaner house that is already furnished. The furnishings are really not my style: Tommy Bahama has a seizure and throws up modern bile. I dunno, but we didn’t have to move our furniture and we have a garage. I was really stoked about parking in a garage only to learn that an entire gym is being stored in there. There are aerobic machines, weights, and all kids of crap. My best guess is the owner who used to own the development moved the gym equipment out of the pool house and put it in the garage. Gym equipment is heavy lifting, for now I’m parking in the driveway… and also nobody knows whereabouts of the garage door openers.

The first week was hard on the account that my children were up my asshole the entire time I was getting things settled. They are now enrolled at a preschool that seems okay. They are happy to get out of my asshole and I get to hear myself breath and do things like laundry, grocery shopping, and getting my nails done.

I had my nails done yesterday at Princess Nail. It was quite the experience. My nail tech was a hoot. He was like a Vietnamese Chang from the Hangover. I asked him his name and he said it was Ken then said something that sounded like Kit without the tee. We had become pretty good friends at that point, so I asked him if he made up that name just now. To which he replied, “No, honey. Most people cannot pronounce my real name, so I just tell them Ken.” I then pronounced his name correctly and his eyes got big. “Oh, well you got it.” (He doesn’t know yet that I can mimic things pretty good and he will be on the list of people that I impersonate.)

We talked about food and how he went to Georgia over Labor Day to a Vietnamese celebration in Atlanta on Jimmy Carter Blvd. I discovered he was married and his wife was driving him crazy. WIFE!? Good Lord, I truly thought this man was gay. Then I chuckled inside thinking about Chang and how the rest of the wolf-pack were shocked to find out he had a wife.

I suppose he felt extremely comfortable with me when it was time to apply the polish, because he said, “don’t you want like a red or pink or something?” I had chosen a taupe color that I thought was pretty nice.

I looked at him and quietly whispered to not offend any other patrons, “You think this is too old lady-ish?”

He grimaced, so I trounced over to the nail polish and choose Lincoln Park at Dark, which is the color of blackened blood. I held it up for him and asked him if that was a better. He agreed it was a better color choice.

Lookie at Chang’s work…

And just because Ken reminds me of him… “Just a little bump.”

I did have a girls night out last evening. Not too bad, huh? One week and invited to the Monday night Bachelor viewing with the other gals from the block. I’m not one for watching a bunch of hoes getting sloppy seconds from the same douche bag, but there was wine, food, and girl time without husbands or kids. It could have been a Natzi Mother’s Meth lab social and I would have gone. Okay, so maybe not really. That would be illegal. It was a good group of girls and I had fun.

I still miss my Georgia peeps though!

p.s. photos for your viewing enjoyment

Boden and Olivia on the carousel at the mall. Yes, we had to look at coats, because someone implied their jackets weren’t sufficient.

 This is a house I pass by a lot that confuses me in so many ways. I think I hear Dueling Banjos. Check out the yellow Trans Am. Hell yeah!

 Lots of rolling pastures and farms.

 Weird not to have pine trees everywhere.

 Here is the garage/workout storage that I mentioned earlier.


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